PART #3: SPOUSE a.k.a The “I need to talk to my wife/husband/partner objection”
This series goes into why “objections” are really just valid concerns, and dynamics to play with rather than make you feel deflated on the call.
When you're selling high-ticket, objections are a welcome sight. Courageously dig them up and expose them to the light of reason and compassion. How? Creating a safe space where questions/concerns are welcomed. And remember, you're here to help them make the right decision for them, not to make them buy from you. A couple of things to keep in mind:
The more you can release your attachment, the higher your conversion rates will be, because now you can be fully present, instead of being distracted by your own “hidden agendas.”
Often, what shows up as a concern, or “objection” is your potential client missing a piece of information. All of that is easily fixed by asking them, “is there anything you'd like to ask me about [your project/package/program]?”
And there's no such thing as “objections.” They're either valid concerns that simply need to be addressed, questions that need answers, or dynamics for us to dance with. That's it. Changing the language around this stuff matters.
Today, we're diving into dynamics that show up when there's a spouse involved, or other secondary decision-maker (business partner, spirit guides, advisors, we've seen it all!), and how to support your potential client in making the right decision for them.
THE TRUTH ABOUT SECONDARY DECISION-MAKING DYNAMICS
The key to helping people overcome the spouse sales objection is a non-judgemental attitude and the inclusion of the secondary decision-maker in the sales process.
The “spouse” isn't always an actual spouse, but can show up in the shape of a best friend, spirit guide, a different coach/service provider/team/business partner/parent, etc. You recognize this objection when people say things like:
“I'll have to ask my wife first.”
“I want to discuss this with my business partner before I can make a decision.”
“I can't decide until I consult my astrologer.”
When these kinds of statements show up, don't feel discouraged, and understand that you're probably not going to change how people navigate their decision-making process. And that it's not your job to judge or shake them loose.
Before trying to “counter” this objection, learn more about how this collaborative decision-making process works for your potential client. The spouse objection can range from complete co-dependency, or dependency on the other to make the decision for them, to an actual need to check in with a team/business partner, etc.
When this dynamic shows up, I always ask:
“Tell me more, how do you make decisions together with _________?” Sometimes followed by a few examples. I might also ask, “I know this is really important to you because of [remind them of their self confessed yes], and I don't want your enthusiasm to get lost in translation as you're including ______ in your decision-making process. What does ________ need to help you make your choice?“
In other words, you need to understand the exact dynamic of their process in order to support them successfully.
Often, I offer to hop on a call with both decision-makers. If that's not an option, I might dive deep with the potential client, and make sure they're a 110% YES, before going to their decision-making partner, and I'll literally share with them:
“Here's what I know: your _______ loves you and wants to keep you safe. So, if they sense you're not sure, they'll tell you not to do it because they're afraid you'll get hurt. If you're a full-bodied yes, they'll sense your excitement and very likely tell you to do it. So, what do you need to know, or what do you need to see to become that full-bodied yes?“
Maybe they need a quick email with an outline they can share with their decision-making partner. Maybe they need some sentences they can borrow from you to bring to the conversation. I have them make suggestions, and I make suggestions myself, based on what I sense the dynamic is. AND… I can only do that successfully when I understand a bit more about the story behind this way of making decisions.
Please don't get scared when this shows up. I personally always talk to my husband before investing, except when it comes to buying erotic novels. It's just what we do. He helps me feel whether I really want it or not. And he does the same. It's not a dependency thing – I'm a millionaire. It's simply that we help each other feel what's going on in our bodies, and what thoughts we're thinking. That verbal processing is what I need to feel I'm making the right decision.
In other words, don't judge.
Simply work with what's presenting itself.
Highly recommended is that second “circle back” call. Invite the secondary decision-maker to attend, or to create a list with questions/concerns you can address with your primary decision-maker on the call.
I also propose that the potential client can message me anytime in between those calls with questions that either have come up for them, or their co-decision maker. Make sure all channels of communication are WIDE OPEN, so they're never “stuck with a question.”
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